Ugodre Obi-Chukwu
Seun has just received a mouth-watering offer from a multinational organisation with head office in Lagos. Her salary package would include a brand new car, an apartment in Ikoyi, and yearly all expense paid holiday for her, her spouse and two dependent relatives. Her monthly take home will be triple what she currently earns. It’s a dream job and one she should not reject yet she fretfully starred at the letter as she was chauffeured on her way home from work. As juicy as the offer was, it came with one caveat…no two people from the same family can work there at the same time. Her hubby had been a member of staff of the company for some years now and was also forging an impressive career for himself until this sudden dilemma.
The scenario painted above is what most organisations refer to as “Policy on Connubial Relationships”. How many of us find ourselves in such a precarious situation and how do we handle it? Would you let your spouse resign for you? Would you resign for your spouse? Who’s career is more important, his or hers? As usual the best way to deal with situations like this is to draw from the experience of those who have faced such situations. Some work places are so demanding, employees have no other form of meeting people except in the office. They end up falling in love only to face the snag of deciding who to resign first should their relationship end in marriage. In some organisations, such policies are instituted belatedly leaving spouses with the quandary of deciding who should step down for the other.
Issues like this typically cause disaffection and if not handled properly can lead to a break up in marriage. From a financial standpoint, decision-making in the case highlighted above is easier if quitting the job in favour of your spouse will result in the family income being higher than what it currently is should he reject the offer. Decisions like this also bother on mutual understanding between the husband and wife and on the basis that whatever decision they take is in the best interest of the family. For example, if she accepts the job on the basis of the income being more, could the set back in the career of the husband be a costly price on their relationship? There are issues that are beyond financial gains that should also be taken into consideration.
Mr. and Mrs. Cole for example, once found themselves in a similar situation. In their case they met in the organisation at a time when the policy was already in existence. They got married and the wife resigned immediately. Her husband was in a much more elevated position in the organisation and so they thought it was best she resigned. She soon had children and as time went by found it hard to get a job as most employers felt she had lost so much time within the period she was out of touch with industry requirement. Her husband being a very busy man was hardly around making her so miserable she almost fell into depression. To address the situation, which was threatening their marriage, the husband soon set her up with a small business where she sells dresses and toys for kids.
What if you do not have the finance to support your spouse should she decide to start a business? It is therefore important for the couple to take time to plan before deciding who is to resign. Is there a plan b should employment become unavailable? Is it easier for me to get another job than my spouse despite my elevated position in the organisation? Is my wife better off nurturing a career while I look elsewhere as I have a better qualification and experience to get another job? While it is financially and occupationally expedient for a spouse not to resign, it is equally important that you weigh the chances of getting another job for the spouse that would be resigning.
In the event that the spouse who resigns prefers to remain self-employed, then the other half must ensure full cooperation and support. Support can be moral, financial and even professional. For example, the spouse who remains in employment can use his or her influence to help the unemployed spouse get another job. You can help your husband get briefs should he resign and decide to choose a career in consulting. Similarly, you can also help your wife with professional advice and financial support should she decide to set out as an entrepreneur.
Seun did take the job on the insistence of her husband who believed she was better positioned to accept the job in view of her blossoming career. He resigned and for the next 12 months searched for another job in vain until he decided it was time to set out on his own.
Have you been in such a situation before? How did you resolve it positively and what do you think is the best way to handle such situations?
Send me an email ugodre@nairametrics.com or tweet at me @ugodre. Don’t forget to visit our website www.nairametrics.com/personalfinance for more personal finance articles.
Source: punch
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